Self-created

I brought you joy and

spontaneous joy in seeing you

was mine

Can I describe spontaneous

joy?

It’s a rising tide inside

till the banks of the levee

are breached

an out-rushing river

with no more though of self

than a beached grain of sand.

Knowing that joy is in an ocean of

communion

That was my heart

at sight of you.

Long are the hours I lie now

not quite wishing to sleep

wanting to remember those times now

but not wanting what I want.

Rising inside me

really no more than a ripple

of a tide that once moved

my soul

Comes a memory flooding

over me

my banks are so pitifully low

And leaving its rich deposit

I sift through the ruins

and find another hateful memory

of misery

self-created again.